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Molar Misery and Blog Battles

I read my last post with fondness. Yes, I came back to Earth with a thud upon my return from my weekend away. Master X had me up and down for two nights straight every 1 1/2 to 2 hours.  He was quite miserable and had the sorest looking nappy rash. The only other time he has had a red bottom is when his teeth came through. On Monday afternoon, I managed to have a good look in his mouth and found the culprit – a molar had broken through! Two other gums were red and swollen and upon inspection on the Tuesday a second molar had erupted. Poor baby, he doesn’t even have all his incisors yet. By Wednesday the nappy rash was gone, his runny nose had cleared, and his happy self returned. The girls never suffered like this with teething.

Miss i realised last week that her school website has the ability to write blogs. She was so excited that she wrote her first blog and then emailed all of her school mates to read it and leave comments. She has been adding posts almost daily (unlike her Mum) and word has spread quickly so that lots of Year 6 girls are now writing their own blogs. Tonight, she removed her latest post voluntarily and thanked the friends who had left positive comments relating to it.

It all began with this conversation in the car, after I collected her from school on Tuesday afternoon:

Miss i –  “Mum at lunchtime today, C noticed that L was sitting by herself. We decided to go and say hi to her and ask her to join us in playing basketball. ”

Me – “That’s great, isn’t she new to school?”

Miss i – “Yes, she came here last Term but she hasn’t made many friends.” “I don’t really know her because she is in another class, but some kids think she is weird.”

Me – “Did she play basketball with you?”

Miss i – “She did, but S and B told us not to talk to her and not to ask her to play because she is a Dork and people would think we were Dorks too.” “I told them that I couldn’t watch her sit by herself and what harm would it do to ask her to join in our basketball game?”

Me – “That breaks my heart to hear that. I moved school so much when I was a kid and it was so hard to start each new school and make new friends. I am so glad you asked her to join in.” “How did things end up with S and B?”

Miss i – ” They refused to play with us. They think that by including her, I am excluding them.”

The conversation continued after school on Wednesday…

Me – “How did things go at school today with your friends?”

Miss i – “Terrible. B said to me “So it’s in with the new and out with the old is it?” and they ignored us all day.” “L joined us for lunch again and she is really nice Mum. She has been living overseas for two years and her Dad is still working overseas so she doesn’t see him much.”

So where does the blog fit in? Today’s conversation after school….

Me – “How are things in your friendship group?”

Miss i – “B ignored me all day and then she yelled at S at lunchtime because S told me that B was ignoring me because of what I wrote in my blog yesterday.”

Alarm bells rang for me. “What did you write in your blog?”

Miss i – “You can read it Mum, but I didn’t use their names, although I did write about the situation.”

So I did read her blog and it was great! Her only mistake was that she forgot to think about what L might feel if she were to read it, knowing it may involve her. Miss i had written about how it must feel to be not included, to have people talk about you and to not fit in. She wrote that her ‘reputation’ was less important than ‘justice’ and treating others as she wanted to be treated. Miss i wrote with honesty and compassion. She was humbled by the eight comments left by school mates who wrote to give positive feedback and support (and they weren’t all from her friendship group).

When I talked to  miss i about her blog and the fact that L may read it she felt awful that L might learn what people think of her. She printed a copy of the post (just in case she needed to defend herself to teachers) and deleted it with the comment:

This post has been deleted by the Author who would like to thank the people who left such positive comments.

I am so proud to be her Mum. She makes decisions from her heart at the risk of having her own hurt.


5 Responses

  1. Oh, this is gorgeous. It’s so hard to fit in at the best of times, but your daughter shows maturity beyond her years. You must be so proud. I would be.

  2. Miss i, perhaps without knowing it yet, may be the person that Miss L will remember forever as the girl who was the first to welcome and befriend her.

    I know: I was ‘L’ once, and it was a Miss P who walked up to me as I was hiding miserably in the library and said, ‘Do you like swimming?’ and that line changed the rest of my year for the better.

    Miss i makes me so proud!

    • On reflection I think it was remembering myself as the miss L that tugged at my heart when she told me the details.
      One of the comments on her blog was that this person had never seen miss L smile since she had arrived at the school, until she was playing basketball.

  3. kids …. wow shes amazing..

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